Who would you be if you were completely alone with no one to compare yourself to? I know what I am and I know what I'm not in many ways because I know what the people around me are or aren't.
I know I'm not successful because I know so many successful people
I know I'm not thin because I know so many thin people
I know I'm not cool because I have so many cool people around me
I know I'm kind because I've seen so many people be cruel
I know I'm funny because I make so many people laugh
I know I'm open because I've met so many people who are closed off
So the question remains, would I feel like a loser if more people I knew were losers or if I simply changed what I believe constitutes being a loser? Would I see a beautiful woman in the mirror if there was no one else to stand next to? Would I feel content exactly where I am in life if my life was completely my own?
This thought consumed my mind last night. It really is something to think about. I gauge so much about myself, and most people I think do to, by the person standing to my right and the person standing to my left. This made me quite hopeful today. I'm going to close my eyes and make my own conclusions about who and what I am.
I am also stocked and ready to start focusing on my eating again. I know I've gained some weight but, at least for today, I'm going to start fresh. I want to release the burden on my shoulders like a parachutist unclasps his shoot. My mom also purchased a small floor cycle. I think I'm going to try it out. So much of not exercising is the pain of being this size. This is definitely a no excuses piece of equipment, easy to use, low impact, quiet, and I can watch t.v. while I do it. I'll let you know how it goes.