Tuesday, December 27, 2011
So much going through my mind. Forgive me if I go all incoherent on you. Perspective is everything. EVERYTHING. I adore my family, love love love, but positivity and open loving conversation is not really a number one priority. I got to spend time with some family members I don't get to see as much. I got encouragement and a perspective, while completely honest, made me feel valued in a way I haven't really felt lately. It made me feel excited about moving forward in this little life of mine. I worry way too much about what other people think about me. I worry about other peoples standards and perceptions of me. But I have to also admit that some of the negative feelings I get from others are my own fears projected on them. How I see others seeing me is often flawed. I need to find a life that is mine, a life that I want, no matter what anyone thinks about it. Number one, find a church where I fit in, with absolutely no consideration of whether anyone in my family will approve. A place for me. And maybe, just maybe, he is there waiting for me.