Out with the whines

So first day with the counting of the points and I actually didn't eat all of them. Balance Sarah, Balance!!!!!!!!!!!! I want to find that so very badly. Because I had structure I made sure to have absolutely no structure. I used lack of options to just eat what tasted good and didn't pay attention. And its just plain old laziness. I can't blame this on AD/HD. I just didn't want to do the work. I am really struggling with the lack of options around me. I'm down to just odds and ends that don't really make much of anything. I will soon be borrowing some money to get to the grocery store but for now I am having trouble not being a whiny bitch. Food is fuel. Granted it can be very fun fuel but right now I need to suck it up and eat the veggies and count the damn points even if its not culinary harmony. The fifteenth is coming soon and I plan on doing a bimonthly check in. Which means I have like 3 days to magically make up for the first ten. Now I haven't gone totally off the reservation but I haven't dug in and done the work. The scale won't go up but I can't guarantee its gonna plummet down either.  And the reality is I gotta keep it moving. I have to stop being a whiny baby, get back up and battle for my life. Complacency can have no place. Rationalizing can have no place. I know whats real and what is fake. I AM a food addict and I can't forget that for one f-ing second or I'm gonna go back right where I started. No whining!!!!!