It's been too long. I know this. I've almost come back so many times. But I think about having to write about how I'm feeling and then I do what I'm best at, running from the problem. Then I had some people ask me why I wasn't blogging. It felt good to know people were interested. Then I wonder why I would have to say that wouldn't be me wallowing in self pity. I try not to let the self pity leak out on to others. I want to say that I've bounced back and that I'm ready to keep going. The reality is that I'm not. I feel rather stuck. And tonight I found out that my family will be flying up to see my brother for Thanksgiving. I have been looking forward to seeing my brother. Now I have to worry about airplane seats. I don't want to cancel my whole trip because of my big ass. But I'm terrified I won't fit in the seat or they will make me buy two seats. I've handled a lot of embarrassment in my life but I don't think I could take the shame of being led out of the plane to go buy another ticket. I also doubt I could fly first class and I know I would get a lot of questions about that. I really don't feel like telling people that I had to buy a more expensive seat cause I was too expansive. Expansive = expensive. It was just something I don't really want to think about right now. I'm trying to be positive. Not one of my best skills in a time like this.
The eating is about to get better. Finally have a little money to spend at the grocery store. I will be back tomorrow but beware, I might be whining again.