Saturday, June 29, 2013

Exercise tips for the morbidly obese

Exercise: An integral part of any health or weight loss plan

Disclaimer: If it is physically possible for you to complete P90X in 90 days, this post is not for you.

Now let's just begin this post with AA style honestly. I am categorized in the medical community as being morbidly obese. (Way to make that sound like the absolute worst thing one can possibly be. Even the words serial killer don't sting as bad. Ouch.)

Now some would say "just walk everyday. the pounds will melt away." Yes, walking is a proven exercise for beginners and those with lots to lose. Some people swear by it. I in no way disparage it for those that it works for. Everyone is different. I find it to be the most boring, soul crushing of exercise plans. I've shopped around and while exercise videos can be just as soul crushing and cheesy, I personally can get through one without hoping to be hit by a car. So if you are like me and walking is just not for you, I've compiled some helpful tips for getting through your workout.

1. It is okay to stop, frequently, especially if you can't hear the music over the sound of  your heart signaling that it has reached what I like to call the "red zone." This feeling is equivalent to how I imagine the guy in Aliens felt when the alien jumped right out his chest. Don't feel bad stopping. If your heart rate is up, well that's kind of the whole point so good on ya.

2. Don't feel the need to stop the video everytime you need to stop. This will make your exercise video (if you are anything like me) last approximately 6 hours and 45 minutes. Just get back up when you feel the alien is just a little peeved and not quite ready to blow a hole out your front.

3. Modify, modify, modify. Most exercise programs these days have a few participants who modify the exercise for their needs. Do this! You don't have to jump because they do. Do not feel bad about yourself. The fact that you are moving truly is the most important thing. I mean Sit and Be fit has been running on PBS for like a millions years and they are literally sitting down the whole time.

4. Clothes are optional. (Mirrors are also optional and I find that looking into them is actually detrimental because ok, really, I don't need to see that.) Seriously. Sweating is a useful part of the exercise process. Wearing a gallon of water, well just plain feels icky. I do advocate for supportive underwear. It would be such a shame to work that hard and be knocked out by one's own breast or end up with them located somewhere around your knees.

5. Let me repeat. Mirrors. Just don't.

6. Water. Duh!

7. You will get better. You will get better. You will get better. You will get better. Someone please tell me I will get better!!!!!!!

I'm interested to hear if anyone else any overweight exercise tips. What gets you through it?

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