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Monday, October 31, 2011

Adulthood, not my favorite

So I'm in a mood and none of my besties are on Facebook chat and its too late to be making phone calls.

I've always been a really self aware person. I know all about my fault and my weaknesses, but its starting to get really tiring. I have a terrible fear of doing things wrong. Now if I was perfect, that wouldn't be much of an issue but seeing as I am far from makes life painful. Today I was sent an email about work. Now the email wasn't critical but it brought up an issue of something I needed to do better. So instead of just going okay I'll fix it (especially since it was an issue I was aware of and was making strides to improve, so it wasn't out of left field) I start to analyze things I already know the rational answers to. I'm so tired of the brain roller coaster. I want to make a decision and stick to it. I hate seeing every detail, every scenario, over and over and over again.

The reality is that I am new at this. I'm learning my way through it. I just feel a great responsibility to be the best at something that someone else is spending their good money having me do.

Well after a few missteps, my fridge is full and my WW calculator is poised for a good week. See ya tomorrow.

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